Change, fear, reality, positive and negative thoughts:
Negative attitudes and thoughts are the most gripping and corrosive impact on one’s life. Every time and every day one starts thinking or approaching anything with a negative attitude and thoughts it becomes harder to get through and more difficult to accomplish.
Whatever one is going through with negative thoughts running over and over and seeping into anything and everything, it is inevitable to start thinking one is going to lose and fail. That in turn leads one to think of failure and feeds into the fear which leads to indecisiveness. Indecisiveness leads to lack of action which leads to stagnation and more negativity… a vicious cycle
Fear and negativity can only control us if we let it take charge of our actions and our behavior. We might stop doing anything for fear of losing or hurting or getting hurt.
There are many people that very idea of losing or change will cripple them. It will prevent them to live. It will make them be consumed with negative thoughts and fear. It will put them into a vicious cycle that will be hard to get out of without change. Even a small change will break the cycle but the break needs commitment and conviction to keep falling back into the cycle again. It needs self-confidence. Self-confidence is only sustained by a belief in oneself and by accomplishments. Accomplishments cannot happen without trying and acting on things. Without failing, fear of failing, and trying again. Knowing that everyone has these moments and knowing that the sun will rise again and give light and warmth generously and consistently no matter how many clouds are out there.
When people are going through this negativity, fear, and fear of change, they tend to get down and feel sad and blue. They start spiraling down and losing control. When the blues hit, it hits hard. They start dragging and having a hard time working. Unable to get much done. Slower to respond to things. Blues aren’t as troublesome as they are informative. They tend to teach us how to press on. Some people think blues songs make things worse. On the surface, it might seem that is true. However, listening to blues songs help to realize how others have gone through hard times and negative thoughts and fears and worked through their issues by believing that they will prevail. They are more revealing and enlightening. They help find where the edges and endings are. They help us find what stresses us and how to cope with the bad things.
I am not suggesting that every time one listens to blues songs it instantly helps and cures. On the contrary, one needs to go deep and dissect the song and correlate it with its own events and issues. Find the pattern of the cycle and find a way to break it. Maybe even making a list. There could be two lists. A list of the negative items and fears and just as important a list of positive things. Both are just as hard to come up with. This is the same approach with any problem-solving in life. However big the problem, however unsurmountable the issue, break it down into smaller items. By breaking things down into smaller items one creates tangible things to overcome. One starts to see the smaller steps to take to get closer to the goal and move further away from the negatives. It also helps to develop a sense of urgency and passion in everything we do.
Never forget the three powerful resources we always have available to us: love, hope, and forgiveness. Love yourself for who you are. Hope that you will prevail if you keep at it. Forgive yourself and others for all the negatives, fears, and failures. Not easy to do but absolutely as attainable as breathing that first breath after you come up from underwater. As easy as absorbing the warmth of the sunrise. Also remember that every day, it is always coldest right before sunrise.
Change is inevitable, growth is optional.
As for the balance of positivity and reality, meaning, how does positivity balance out the reality of things? How can positivity help reality and how much of positivity will mask the reality. Where we might have a false sense that reality is worse than we actually think it is because of us focusing on positivity. Well, simply this:
Positivity influences reality resulting in a better outcome.
Positivity makes going through reality a better experience.
Positivity helps deal with the day to day reality issues.
Positivity does not impact or influence the timeline of reality. However, it does make it easier to focus on attaining the goals.
Reality does influence positivity in both good and bad ways. It is up to us to manage this impact and influence so it does not derail us from our path and focus.
Reality is guided by our involvement and our involvement is driven by our attitude.
So even though positivity and reality are separate. In order to have better results now and going forward, they cannot be mutually exclusive. They are in fact intertwined.
Now, how does the definition of insanity play into this?
Well, it is insane to think that just being positive and hoping that being positive will influence reality in a positive way. Especially, if there are other parties who are sucking away at the positivity and will not acknowledge and work on improving both the attitude and reality of the situation. One has to use positivity in a manner to act (positively) and work on real issues. Having said that, it will take longer to DRAG along the other parties involved. Positivity will help keep the momentum and keep on driving forward. Like cleaning a tough stain or tightening a stuck screw. One must keep humming a happy tune and scrubbing and tightening on and on until the stain is gone and the screw is tightened. It might look like insanity from another’s’ perspective, however, if you want the result and the goal, you must keep at it. Nothing is impossible if you really want something. Nothing is impossible, especially when you are having a good hair day. (The phrase I use: “Having a good hair day” is meant to convey self-confidence, being balanced, grounded, and positive)
Here’s to having good hair days!
