When we step back and look at how we interact with each other, having arguments or discussions. We realize that we are always trying to figure what is behind that door. Trying to figure out how to open that door and get to the other side. To the same side as the other person. This will help us connect with and align with the other person.
In order to have better discussions and be able to find different paths and get to the same side of this proverbial door, we need to better understand ourselves and self-actualize to help navigate our strengths and weaknesses. Also, the more we know ourselves, the less we fear. The more we are able to know each other and to less, we fear each other. The more we are able to have discussions and focus on what is right. The more we will be able to have a zen diagram and focus on the overlap areas.
- Discussions are always better than arguments
- Arguments focus on who is right
- Discussions focus on what is right
- Listen to what is being said and what is not being said, without any ego
- Don’t be afraid to question what is being said and what is not being said. However, do not question things just for the sake of sounding clever or take advantage of a weakness
- Focus to understand why things are being said and why things are not being said to help connect the missing dots
- The Intent is to understand the full picture and just as important, the reason for the discussion
- Do not try to explain or solve what your comfort zone and preference is
- Do not try to solve what the other person is asking for, rather discuss to bring both of you to an understanding of the core of the matter
- Approach things with a wide-open mind without prejudice and prejudgement or assumptions
- Understand where each is coming from, the background, history, current, and future vision, plan, and perspective
- Work on the few paths that have more commonality and benefits for each and come to an understanding to select the most amicable
Imagine each of you is standing on a different side of a double-pane door and thinking to push or pull. Each of you can argue your perspective and stand your ground. It might be that both of you are correct, as the4 doors can be a Push on onside which makes it a pull on the other. The doors might also be sliding doors.